Friday, May 7, 2010

TGIF! and a Blogfest

Today after school I'm headed back to Chicago for a quick weekend trip. But I'm leaving you with a little something. Andrew over at The WriteRunner is hosting a Bad Girl Blogfest. So here's my entry. I'll see you all on Monday, and I hope you have a great weekend.

She’s been here a week, stalking her prey, before she finally decides on the killing ground. She knows the when, the how, and now the where.

She also knows the why; she just doesn’t care.

Objective.

She’s trailed him four times now, marked his route. He’s always in early and out late; straight shot, no stops. And he always uses the stairs to enter and exit the skyway that connects the parking garage with the high-rise tower that houses his small, low-level government office.

Mission.

At this point of convergence, she times it perfectly.

She knows the lower levels are empty, and smiles up at the shriveled little man hurrying down as she climbs.

The landing is narrow where they meet, and she nods as he angles slightly to give her room to pass. She steps and pivots as her right hand pulls up her pistol and fires into the back of the little man’s head from a distance of less than six inches.

The suppressor is more than worth its cost. There isn’t a sound except the snick of the trigger as the man’s thin hair puffs out in a sudden splash of pale pink and crimson.

The body crumples and begins to fall. She follows it down, fires a second shot into the head as legs and arms splay on the ground.

Execution.

Stepping over and away from the body, she heads back down the stairs and out into the quiet of a dark, empty street.

In less than an hour the sun will rise and she will be gone.

32 comments:

  1. Seriously, I love the way you kill people. Especially first thing in the morning. Are you sure you're not ex-CIA or Mafia?

    Have a great weekend, we'll see you when you get back. Happy Mother's Day. (Can you say that to a killer?)

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  2. Ahhh. Always double tap. My kind of girl.

    Great job SJS!

    Safe travels...and Happy Mother's Day.
    Love,
    Lola

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  3. Okay, so love this! I just remembered why I don't usually read excerpts (other than they're often way too long). Now I want to read more. I guess that's the point of them. Now if only I was an agent. ;)

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  4. I love this! I want more. Great job!

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  5. Oh, she's a bad girl! Well done! I shivered at this line: "There isn’t a sound except the snick of the trigger as the man’s thin hair puffs out in a sudden splash of pale pink and crimson." Vivid and well done.

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  6. how clinically brilliant and vividly described!

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  7. Double-tap indeed. The only way to roll.
    Nice contribution!

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  8. Bad girls do it better ;-)

    I love the coldly efficient way she goes through her paces, the military precision and the matter-of-factness (Objective/Mission/Execution).

    As usual, you rock.

    Have a great weekend!

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  9. What an awesome bad girl. As always, I love your pacing! Have a great weekend.

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  10. Short, sweet, and to the point. Both the fiction, and the execution. Nicely done, good lady!

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  11. I love the tightness of this.

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  12. Wow! I am in awe of how this was written. It's straight to the point and I love the cold-blooded nature of this.

    :~) Have a wonderful weekend!

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  13. This is great Sarah Jayne. I love this character. So collected. Great energy and momentum.

    Have a good weekend!

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  14. Simply awesome, Sarahjayne.

    Hope the weekend goes well :)

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  15. *Shudders* I'm so glad I wasn't her victim!

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  16. Wow. That was just awesome!

    Have a great weekend! :-)

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  17. Short and too the point.
    I'm never going home the same way twice!
    Thanks for participating!

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  18. WOW! That was SO good, Sarahjayne! I don't even know what else to say...it was just great!

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  20. This is beautifully written--I love the voice of it, the feel of it. Very well done--really, just wonderful!

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  21. GREAT scene! I think I've read this before, but the effect on me was the same. And I'm still left wondering who she is and why she gunned him down so ruthlessly. Awesome writing!

    I left you a little award on my blog today!

    Have a great Mother's Day weekend in Chicago :))

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  22. that was really good! you wrote it like you knew what you were talking about! LOL
    great job...

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  23. Whew! I want to be your friend and not your enemy that's for damn sure! Loved this! Succinct and to the point! So want to know why she needed to kill him...Good stuff! Keep it up!

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  24. Also wanted to add that I loved....snick of the trigger...perfect imagery with that word snick.

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  25. Well done indeed. That was a treat. Have a great weekend.

    .......dhole

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  26. I love this! The way you map out the scene made me feel like I was inside the killers head. The tone is perfect for a such a cold and calculated act. Great visual too with the "...splash of pale pink and crimson."

    Awesome!!

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  27. This is great! You've got a strong voice, and I love the mental steps of the process. Short and sweet and to the point! Well done!

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  28. Perfect execution, in every sense of the word! Tight, methodical and utterly mesmerising... I love it.

    Wicked.

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  29. Awesome - loved it! When do we get to read more?

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  30. Cold, calculating, precise...very *shudder* efficient bad girl post.

    Great job! I like her.

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