Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Fear and focus

I'm a disciplined, dedicated person. I know what I have to do, and I know what I have to do to get it done.

I subscribe more to the 'sit down and figure it out then write' theory than I do to a muse. I subscribe to the theory that writer's block is really just fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. I have them both in spades and sometimes they just paralyze me.

And as I'm trying to be more disciplined in my writing, do more writing on a more regular basis, I've ping-ponged between my fears.

I think I can write. Short stories and novels. I have two novels that are WIPs and one completed novel that could be rewritten, if I felt up to the heavy lifting, into something I think would be marketable. I have tons of bits and pieces that could be fitted into a coherent something.

Whatever comes though, I need to focus.

How about you? Discipline or muse? Biggest fear in writing? How do you focus?

12 comments:

  1. I write in phases. I have to. I have no discipline, no muse. When the baby's in school I can usually get a few pages done. On the weekends I spend more time at it, sometimes all day. I have a lot of trouble with focus these days. I'm not sure which project to tackle and am kind of floundering.

    Biggest fear in writing -- not getting published.

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  2. I have to give you mad props for being able to write with a little one around. I remember when my kids were small and how hard it was to find time to even think a thought much less write. Lack of sleep pretty much totalled any focus I had.

    And as far as not getting published, you have taken the first steps to making sure that doesn't happen. :)

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  3. Wow...very interesting and timely post for me to read.

    I do not subscribe to the muse theory either but I lack discipline, be it at my job, exercise, weight, etc. I don't have the little ones running around the house but I have many, many excuses to not succeed or finish things.

    What are my fears? I don't think I have a fear of success--not in the least. What I do have is that fear that I'm just not good enough--that my writing is serviceable but not special or particularly brilliant, that it's pretty common and thus, not really worthy or any particular recognition.

    Once I have those thoughts in mind, it's just one more reason to not succeed--why bother when the effort won't be enough.

    It's like I know just enough to know how bad I am.

    Thanks for the free therapy!

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  4. Oh, as for how I focus? Um. I don't for the most part. On those rare occasions when I do focus, it usually involves headphones and good music.

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  5. That fear of not being good enough just haunts me, too. No matter how much you think you can do something, and do it well, it seems to just crawl into your bones and never leave you alone.

    I think your writing is far more than just serviceable and common. You write very well.

    And add wine to the music and headphones and I think we'd all be more focused. :)

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  6. Like EP said, this is timely. I wish I had a muse, but if I did, it spends a lot of time frolicking somewhere warm and gulping drinks with little umbrellas, while I'm literally and figuratively in the fog here.

    This is interesting to hear from you, SJ, because I think of you as very disciplined, very determined. Much more so than my scattershot efforts at a lot of things and general ADD-like flailing.

    But as for muse or discipline? I think some sort of inspiration is needed to create the discipline. I know I have been deliberately carving out time to write the last four months, despite some heavy distractions, but that could also be for a lot of reasons other than dedication to craft. As for focus, it used to be music; right now, I have to hear the ocean waves. :)

    Biggest fear: not finishing.

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  7. Not have Muses? How sad.

    Of course I have a Muse~ and a tempermental one at that. Writing comes on me (yes, I said ON me) like a rainfall---- it pours, it drizzles, it showers, it pitter patters. It rips out of me like a gusher, painful, unstoppable, then slows, halts, sputters, until it's as nothing but a fine mist, a heavy fog, evaporating and leaving me desert dry, parched for one measley blip of thought.

    And then I sulk; and I beg, and I hope. Oh, and SJ beats me about the head and shoulders and offers me chocolate and hugs before encouraging me, threatening me (Don't you make me come over there!), nor is she the only one.

    I love praise! I fear indifference; the deafening sound of ... oh, yes, wasn't that nice, dear?

    And my Muse? Disappears, reappears like the weatherman is pulling the forecast out of a hat. Choice one, choice two: you will drown with creativity today, write all afternoon, cramp your hands doing it tomorrow, but by Sunday there's a good chance of... nothing...

    No Muses?! HA!!

    ttfn, susan

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  8. I wish I had a muse, but if I did, it spends a lot of time frolicking somewhere warm and gulping drinks with little umbrellas, while I'm literally and figuratively in the fog here.

    For obvious reasons, this line just cracks me up. You’re in the fog, and I’m hanging out researching genocide. But seriously, you’re writing in the fog is producing some amazing results. And you are far less flailing and your efforts less scattershot than you seem to believe. I should know. :)

    I think you’re right about inspiration. And I’m thrilled you’re carving out time to write. I need to get better at that. It’s never been music for me. Music inspires and I can create scenes and dialogue while listening, but I can’t write while listening, if that makes any sense.

    Maybe I need ocean waves. When I was in Myrtle Beach for spring break with Sam, I was prolific cuz I never went to the beach, just stayed in the room facing the ocean. :)

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  9. Hey Susan!

    I was thinking about you when I wrote this. :)

    I know how your muse loves to torture you and how happy you are when she does.

    So have some chocolate and think happy muse-y thoughts. :)

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  10. Muse/Inspiration or Discipline?

    I'd have to say a little of both: in the beginning there is that little mental push, the nudge toward an idea that triggers the whole process; after that, discipline kicks in to give shape to the vision – put it on paper, so to speak.

    Ideas, inspiration, can come by quite easily – what's difficult is to tap the necessary discipline to put them into being.

    I admire (and envy) your powers of dedication, because I'm quite lacking in that department – and that's on my best days…

    My biggest fear? Being boring and predictable, I guess.

    And my best focusing happens when I drive to and from work: nothing like jammed traffic to kickstart the imagination! :)

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  11. Ideas, inspiration, can come by quite easily – what's difficult is to tap the necessary discipline to put them into being.

    Hee! That's it in a nut shell. Keeping the inspiration and the enthusiasm through the long, hard slog of the writing. It's all about the discipline, then. At least for me.

    I admire (and envy) your powers of dedication, because I'm quite lacking in that department – and that's on my best days…

    Don't envy me too much; my powers of discipline seem to have deserted me. :)

    And I seriously doubt you're lacking in that department at all.

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  12. I seriously doubt you're lacking in that department at all.

    Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I am all too easily distracted and I lack the willpower to keep up any good resolution...

    Your powers of discipline might have deserted you - momentarily - but they're going to come back, while I can't get back what I never had ;)

    On the other hand, I could sell lazyness by the pound: if there were a market for it, I'd be rich! LOL

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