You may or may not have noticed that I completely forgot to post on Wednesday. It’s the first time I’ve missed posting since I began this blog, and I’m thinking it might be a sign. I’ve been massively distracted by a number of things for a while now, but this summer it’s been so much so that I’ve not been able to write a word or prepare anything I normally do for the start of the new school year.
Because of this, I’m feeling really pressured to get things done, so I’ll be taking a hiatus from blogging for the rest of the month. Hopefully I can wrestle real life into some semblance of control and find the time to make the rounds of my blogging friends for something good to read and comment on. I’ve missed doing that and hope you don’t think too badly of me for not keeping up with you.
Anyway, enjoy the rest of your summer, and I’ll see you in September.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Celebrate Monday
Happy Monday everybody. Sorry to be so late. I hope you all had a great weekend. It’s time once again as we start a new week to celebrate ourselves. Tell us about something good that happened to you. Something that made you happy. Something that you did that made you feel good.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
So in that vein, what I want to celebrate some quality weekend time with my daughter as we went to see Inception. Such beautiful people. Such beautiful suits. And a really great story that reminded me of the value of layering. I love learning something cool about story telling sitting in a cool theatre with popcorn and pop, my daughter, and a very cool, well told story.
So what’s going on with you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
So in that vein, what I want to celebrate some quality weekend time with my daughter as we went to see Inception. Such beautiful people. Such beautiful suits. And a really great story that reminded me of the value of layering. I love learning something cool about story telling sitting in a cool theatre with popcorn and pop, my daughter, and a very cool, well told story.
So what’s going on with you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
Friday, July 30, 2010
TGIF!
Welcome to the final weekend in July. This officially kicks off my massive and continuing panic attacks about the beginning of school and how little I've prepared for it. It also reminds me of how few days I have left to wake up at a reasonable time, linger over multiple cups of coffee while listening to the quiet and the chirping of birds while I sit on my patio and enjoy the morning. I've always hated the end of summer. It feels a little bit like death to me. I haven't met any of the goals I had set for myself this summer. Haven't even come close. I'm hoping my state of paralysis changes for the better soon, and that as I get into the start and swing of the year, I can once again string together coherent sentences and write.
How about you? How do you feel about the impending end of summer?
How about you? How do you feel about the impending end of summer?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
What summer?
Where has the summer gone? As a teacher, I have always approached August with little less than a panic attack. There’s so much to do. Lesson plans, opening your classroom, in-service days, professional training, slideshows to make, teacher pages and blackboard classes to update, direction sheets and work sheets to be created and copied. The list is never-ending. And teachers operate on a different calendar than others. This is the beginning of our year, and so much rides on it. If I’ve prepped and worked all summer, I can start the year more easily, and it unfolds much less stressfully. If I haven’t had the time or the chance to do all that prep, the year gets off to a rocky start and goes downhill quickly from there. I’m hoping to get it all together during August, so we’ll see.
Is writing for you the same? Tons of prep and then a fairly easy delivery of your writing? Or do you do it the other way? Less prep, more pantsing? I’ve been working on transitioning to some hybrid approach that I’m still not sure is a good thing. How about you?
Is writing for you the same? Tons of prep and then a fairly easy delivery of your writing? Or do you do it the other way? Less prep, more pantsing? I’ve been working on transitioning to some hybrid approach that I’m still not sure is a good thing. How about you?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Celebrate Monday
Happy Monday everybody. I hope you all had a great weekend. It’s time once again as we start a new week to celebrate ourselves. Tell us about something good that happened to you. Something that made you happy. Something that you did that made you feel good.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
So in that vein, what I want to celebrate this Monday is some great advice I read over the weekend. Given the roller coaster ride not only of real life, but of the writing process and the journey to publication, it should come as no surprise to anyone that some pretty negative emotions can surface along the way. James Scott Bell over at The Kill Zone has a great post here about envy and what writers can do to mitigate its devastating effects. Check it out and tell me: Does envy make you miserable? How do you cope with it?
And on a happier note, what is going on with you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
So in that vein, what I want to celebrate this Monday is some great advice I read over the weekend. Given the roller coaster ride not only of real life, but of the writing process and the journey to publication, it should come as no surprise to anyone that some pretty negative emotions can surface along the way. James Scott Bell over at The Kill Zone has a great post here about envy and what writers can do to mitigate its devastating effects. Check it out and tell me: Does envy make you miserable? How do you cope with it?
And on a happier note, what is going on with you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
Friday, July 23, 2010
TGIF!
TGIF! Sorry to be so late, but it’s been a long, difficult week. All told, it’s been a brutal few months, and I’m feeling more than a bit distracted. But I did find this really interesting post over at Plot Whisperer in celebration of pantsers. Click here to check out the role of cause and effect as a really great strategy for writers of all kinds and tell me: Do you write this way?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Decisions, decisions
If you’re like me, you periodically undergo a conscience of crisis. Well, at least one at a time, if they’re well-behaved. The one I’m talking about is the question of writing the story that is in you burning bright and wanting to get out, and writing the story for the market, the one you know will find an agent, audience, and sell. I have two novel WIPs stalled in progress because I can’t even figure out what genre they would fit into and I’m convinced no one will want to read them. On the other hand, I know I could write something in a genre I have no real interest in and have that move.
Elizabeth Spann Craig from Mystery Writing is Murder has a guest post about this very thing over at Alan Orloff’s A Million Blogging Monkeys. Check it out here and tell me: Do you write for the market or yourself?
Elizabeth Spann Craig from Mystery Writing is Murder has a guest post about this very thing over at Alan Orloff’s A Million Blogging Monkeys. Check it out here and tell me: Do you write for the market or yourself?
Monday, July 19, 2010
Celebrate Monday
Happy Monday everybody. Once again, I’m sorry I'm late. I hope you all had a great weekend. It’s time once again as we start a new week to celebrate ourselves. Tell us about something good that happened to you. Something that made you happy. Something that you did that made you feel good.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
This weekend I participated in Tessa’s Blogfest of Death. Scroll down to Sunday’s post to read my entry and for the links to catch the other wonderful writers who participated. I also even managed to make some headway on my crit group reading.
What about you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
This weekend I participated in Tessa’s Blogfest of Death. Scroll down to Sunday’s post to read my entry and for the links to catch the other wonderful writers who participated. I also even managed to make some headway on my crit group reading.
What about you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Blogfest of Death
Today is the day that Tessa over at Tessa’s Blurb is hosting her Blogfest of Death. There are a whole bunch of fantastic writers signed up, so after you finish here click here and go check them out. My entry is the scene immediately following the one I did for Mary McDonald’s Terror Tuesday Blogfest about a month ago. You can click here if you want to read that scene. If not, just read below.
He staggers out of the barracks into the first cold, grey light of dawn, bumping off bodies skeletal and empty-eyed stumbling into strained lines in the center of the yard.
Eyes tearing with cold lock forward. Face still, he stands and stares, watches a dull sun arc along a thin, tight horizon.
Nothing moves across the raw, barren, black terrain beyond the watchtowers; scorched earth, all that’s left of a long ago burn.
Down the line, somewhere to his right, someone’s hacking up the latest plague. Spine straight, head unbowed, his fingers curl into white-knuckled fists at his sides.
The wind shifts; carries the smell of burning from the remains of a wild fire dancing along the serrated slopes just past the dead fields.
The sound of the shot explodes in his head. All-too-familiar rage and fear and shame churn in his gut; tighten his chest.
Wet, grey flakes of snow and ash fall through the raw, cold daylight; filter through the dead trees, the charred, lifeless trunks still standing sightless watch on the other side of the fence line.
Ash and ice, cold and wind stretch and move across the waste like a living thing, breathe harsh and jagged along the grey, serpentine river that snakes past the camp, cleaving the cauterized landscape.
He doesn’t think he’ll survive another winter.
The jolt from the stun stick slides down his spine; buckles his knees. Hard hands shove; send him staggering across the yard.
He doesn’t look at the body or the spreading spill of bright crimson against grey on his way to the pit.
He staggers out of the barracks into the first cold, grey light of dawn, bumping off bodies skeletal and empty-eyed stumbling into strained lines in the center of the yard.
Eyes tearing with cold lock forward. Face still, he stands and stares, watches a dull sun arc along a thin, tight horizon.
Nothing moves across the raw, barren, black terrain beyond the watchtowers; scorched earth, all that’s left of a long ago burn.
Down the line, somewhere to his right, someone’s hacking up the latest plague. Spine straight, head unbowed, his fingers curl into white-knuckled fists at his sides.
The wind shifts; carries the smell of burning from the remains of a wild fire dancing along the serrated slopes just past the dead fields.
The sound of the shot explodes in his head. All-too-familiar rage and fear and shame churn in his gut; tighten his chest.
Wet, grey flakes of snow and ash fall through the raw, cold daylight; filter through the dead trees, the charred, lifeless trunks still standing sightless watch on the other side of the fence line.
Ash and ice, cold and wind stretch and move across the waste like a living thing, breathe harsh and jagged along the grey, serpentine river that snakes past the camp, cleaving the cauterized landscape.
He doesn’t think he’ll survive another winter.
The jolt from the stun stick slides down his spine; buckles his knees. Hard hands shove; send him staggering across the yard.
He doesn’t look at the body or the spreading spill of bright crimson against grey on his way to the pit.
Friday, July 16, 2010
I Write Like
I’ve seen this site I Write Like several places around the blogosphere and thought I’d give it a try. Click on the link, copy and paste a section of your writing into the special box and some techno-magic analyzes your words and tells you who you write like. I copied and pasted three different samples of stuff I’ve written and came up with the following responses: I write like James Joyce in one of them, like Chuck Palahniuk in another one, and Margaret Atwood in the last one. I think that’s pretty interesting company.
Go ahead and give it a try. Who do you write like?
Go ahead and give it a try. Who do you write like?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Road Map
James Scott Bell over at The Kill Zone has a great post here on what you need to do with your manuscript to make it the best it can be before you submit. They’re good, straightforward suggestions from somebody who knows what he’s talking about, and I was pretty pleased to see that most of the suggestions are ones I follow. You’d think I’d be a whole lot happier with my work.
Anyway, check it out and tell me: What do you think of the suggestions? Which ones do you regularly follow? Do you have any other suggestions?
Anyway, check it out and tell me: What do you think of the suggestions? Which ones do you regularly follow? Do you have any other suggestions?
Monday, July 12, 2010
Celebrate Monday
Happy Monday everybody, sorry I'm late. I hope you all had a great weekend. It’s time once again as we start a new week to celebrate ourselves. Tell us about something good that happened to you. Something that made you happy. Something that you did that made you feel good.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
Lately just getting through a weekend is celebration enough for me on a Monday. I cleaned house like a mad woman, between watching World Cup games, so now I get to sit and enjoy the fruits of my labor as I continue to work on the WIP. It’s growing and who knows? It might make novel status. I’m even trying to make headway on my crit group reading.
What about you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
Lately just getting through a weekend is celebration enough for me on a Monday. I cleaned house like a mad woman, between watching World Cup games, so now I get to sit and enjoy the fruits of my labor as I continue to work on the WIP. It’s growing and who knows? It might make novel status. I’m even trying to make headway on my crit group reading.
What about you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Do you recycle?
Writers write. A lot. And a lot of those words don’t end up getting used in final scenes. They’re locked up in stories and scenes and first drafts that never see the light of day. They’re cut or put away and forgotten. And a while ago Copyblogger had an interesting post on recycling creative content that made me think.
Over the period of about the last ten years, I’ve written a lot of stories set in the same universe about the same characters. Short things, middle length things, long things. And I never noticed that with some connective tissue put in between them and some minor changes in POV and such, a lot of those things could be reworked into a larger piece like maybe a novella/novel.
Have you ever done that? Reworked your own work into something else?
Over the period of about the last ten years, I’ve written a lot of stories set in the same universe about the same characters. Short things, middle length things, long things. And I never noticed that with some connective tissue put in between them and some minor changes in POV and such, a lot of those things could be reworked into a larger piece like maybe a novella/novel.
Have you ever done that? Reworked your own work into something else?
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Short v. Long
As I wrestle with the novella/maybe/wannabe novel, I’ve been thinking a lot about writing style. I’ve said before how long and how hard I’ve worked to cut down on my verbiage, to pare down my writing to the essential words and to make those words work in a very spare writing garden. But I also find that I like reading lush description when that’s done right and well and isn’t simply the result of spraying words for filler.
That carries over to first drafts as well. Write It Sideways has an interesting post on the pros and cons of writing short v. long first drafts here. Check it out and tell me: How do you write your first drafts? Short or long? And is that style reflected in your final draft? Or are you a universe away from where you started after rounds of revisions?
That carries over to first drafts as well. Write It Sideways has an interesting post on the pros and cons of writing short v. long first drafts here. Check it out and tell me: How do you write your first drafts? Short or long? And is that style reflected in your final draft? Or are you a universe away from where you started after rounds of revisions?
Monday, July 5, 2010
Celebrate Monday and a question or two
Happy Monday everybody. I hope you all had a great weekend. It’s time once again as we start a new week to celebrate ourselves. Tell us about something good that happened to you. Something that made you happy. Something that you did that made you feel good.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
I’m about one scene from completing a 35,000 word novella. I thought about trying to work it up to 80-85,000 words and novel status, but I think I kind of like it just the way it is.
I’m not very familiar with the novella as a form. I know some of my favorite books are novellas, but beyond that, nada. My questions to you are:
Are any of you familiar with or have written novellas? Is there a market for them? Is the submission process the same as for novels? Anything anyone has to offer will be greatly appreciated.
Enough about me. What about you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
I’m about one scene from completing a 35,000 word novella. I thought about trying to work it up to 80-85,000 words and novel status, but I think I kind of like it just the way it is.
I’m not very familiar with the novella as a form. I know some of my favorite books are novellas, but beyond that, nada. My questions to you are:
Are any of you familiar with or have written novellas? Is there a market for them? Is the submission process the same as for novels? Anything anyone has to offer will be greatly appreciated.
Enough about me. What about you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
Friday, July 2, 2010
TGIF! and a Contest
Just a couple of things before I wish everyone a Happy Holiday Weekend. Abby Annis is having a 200 followers celebration and contest. Go here to check it out for the chance to win some very cool swag.
My current WIP, which apparently is also my once and future WIP is chugging away. I am, however, in dire need of naming help. My male lead needs a name, so if you are so inclined, please leave me your suggestions in a comment.
That’s it folks. Short and sweet. If you are traveling this fine weekend, have a safe trip. If not, I hope you enjoy the fun and frivolity of BBQ and fireworks at home. Happy Fourth and I’ll see you on Monday.
My current WIP, which apparently is also my once and future WIP is chugging away. I am, however, in dire need of naming help. My male lead needs a name, so if you are so inclined, please leave me your suggestions in a comment.
That’s it folks. Short and sweet. If you are traveling this fine weekend, have a safe trip. If not, I hope you enjoy the fun and frivolity of BBQ and fireworks at home. Happy Fourth and I’ll see you on Monday.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Summer escape
Recently, when Aubrie over at Flutey Words asked if anyone wanted to review Jester’s Folly, the latest in her Carnival of Illusions series, I happily volunteered and ended up not only having the pleasure of reviewing that story, but also the first two entries in the series Seer’s Destiny and Chameleon’s Colors.
The series is a bright, breezy read that I enjoyed very much, a tour through a vibrant world where young women like Vira, Kaylee, and Mina, young women tormented and blessed by their unique circumstances confront issues of choice/decisions and their costs/consequences. Aubrie creates likeable characters in these young women, and asks the question: Is fate inevitable or can these young women face their fears and their mistakes to create their own fate?
The first two entries in the series have more of a fantasy element; Jester’s Choice a more straightforward tale of a young woman tormented by a mistake in her past. All three entries are tied together by the strong description and vivid imagery and relationships of the Masquerade Carnival, the world Aubrie brings to life.
If you get a chance to visit, I think you’ll enjoy the journey.
The series is a bright, breezy read that I enjoyed very much, a tour through a vibrant world where young women like Vira, Kaylee, and Mina, young women tormented and blessed by their unique circumstances confront issues of choice/decisions and their costs/consequences. Aubrie creates likeable characters in these young women, and asks the question: Is fate inevitable or can these young women face their fears and their mistakes to create their own fate?
The first two entries in the series have more of a fantasy element; Jester’s Choice a more straightforward tale of a young woman tormented by a mistake in her past. All three entries are tied together by the strong description and vivid imagery and relationships of the Masquerade Carnival, the world Aubrie brings to life.
If you get a chance to visit, I think you’ll enjoy the journey.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Celebrate Monday
Happy Monday everybody. I hope you all had a great weekend. It’s time once again as we start a new week to celebrate ourselves. Tell us about something good that happened to you. Something that made you happy. Something that you did that made you feel good.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
I'm thankful beyond belief that the weekend is over. I've never felt more grateful or celebratory to see a Monday. I hope this brings the start of a better time. I'm still adding words to my WIP with a modicum of enthusiasm, so I hope that continues too.
What about you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
It doesn’t have to be big news or anything earth shattering. Small is good, too.
I'm thankful beyond belief that the weekend is over. I've never felt more grateful or celebratory to see a Monday. I hope this brings the start of a better time. I'm still adding words to my WIP with a modicum of enthusiasm, so I hope that continues too.
What about you? What’s making you happy and/or going well in your life? Share it with us and celebrate yourselves.
Friday, June 25, 2010
TGIF!
This week I was gifted with the very lovely award above by both Callie over at Chimera Critiques and Julie Dao at Silver Lining. I have to share seven things and pass it on to fifteen others. Here goes:
1. This summer for me, change is the theme. We'll see how that works out.
2. I'm writing two online courses as well as working on the WIP.
3. I'm the only Leo I know that doesn't like the sun, the heat and the beach.
4. I love chocolate.
5. I love cooking and Food Network.
6. I spend endless hours watching HGTV.
7. I'm addicted to caffeine.
And now for the lucky fifteen recipients:
Summer over at ...and this time, concentrate!
Bossy Betty
Christine over at Christine's Journey
DL over at Cruising Altitude
Donna Hole
Aubrie at Flutey Words
Laurel over at Laurel's Leaves
Lois at Lotus Rising
Hannah over at Musings of a
Palindrome
Mia over at My Literary Jam and Toast
Patrick Tillett
Portia Sisco
Lola at Sharp Pen/Dull Sword
Courtney over at Southern Princess
Talli Roland
And that's all folks. Check out these versitile bloggers and have a great weekend.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A little something
Mea culpa. My bad. I couldn't decide last night what to post today, and so I ended up not scheduling anything. So today I decided that since I haven't posted anything snippety lately, that I would put up a snippet of something old that may become something new. Here it is.
“Story.”
My lips curve and the smile is only a little sad with memory as she climbs into my lap, sharp elbows and knees as she maneuvers her way to comfort.
I smooth an unruly spill of dark chocolate curls beneath my chin as I rest my cheek on the top of her head and slide my spine more comfortably against the cool wall.
Arms and legs and boneless bodies pillow and cocoon and I remember chocolate as I bring my knees up to cradle my daughter as the others press close, claiming their spots.
I know this is how it goes, how it has always gone. Frightened children find each other’s warmth as they banish demons and monsters with stories shared in the dark.
Large, liquid eyes glow in the semi-light of the small fire in this cavern that has become this site of ritual, this place of sharing.
Cycles ago, I stopped wondering how this came to be.
“What do you want to hear?”
I never thought I had much imagination and while it took me a long, long time, I understand now that children grow into their stories. I think maybe I grew out of mine.
Or maybe I never had them, but I’d read them on Earth.
I can’t quite remember.
But long ago someone had shared them with me, fairy tales and myths, pointing to pictures and teaching me words, sharing simple, fundamental ones I could learn.
I’d never known whether it was because she knew I was pregnant or because she was just being kind.
“Tell us how we came to be.”
I’ve never had her way with words and I still wonder how this has fallen to me. I am not a story teller and I’ve never thought I was very good.
I don’t believe in monsters or bears or witches or children in forests or any of the other things I’d read about the last time I’d been on Earth.
“Once upon a time…”
“Why do stories always start that way?”
“Because that’s the proper way for a story to begin.”
Someone had explained that to me another lifetime ago. I’ve never had any reason to disagree.
“A long time ago, a very brave but very frightened…”
“How can someone be brave but frightened?”
I can create my own story now, my own fairy tale, even if it isn’t pretty or well done; even if I can’t tell how it will end.
Because I know now that even the end is never really the end.
“Courage isn’t the lack of fear. It’s how you handle the fear that makes you brave.”
I’ve always seen the end. It’s always terrified me.
“I’m not afraid.”
But I’ve long since decided that I’ll write my own ending.
I lift my eyes, watch wisps of smoke from the small fire in the center of the chamber curl up the chimney, seeking the freedom of the night sky, the pinprick of stars that have always seemed just out of reach.
I know it’s nothing more than the cave breathing, the movement into and out of this chamber due to changes in atmospheric pressure or temperature on the surface.
These are things I understand.
If I close my eyes though, it could be the soft sound of night cycle on board Kai; the gentle thrum of the great ship’s life around me, the re-circulating air that was the sound of soft breathing.
The flickering shadows could be the gold of her warm, welcoming walls.
I’d taken them for granted.
My chest is tight as I wrap my arms around my daughter and push quiet words that have risen from the ashes into the stillness.
“That’s because there’s nothing to fear here.”
“Story.”
My lips curve and the smile is only a little sad with memory as she climbs into my lap, sharp elbows and knees as she maneuvers her way to comfort.
I smooth an unruly spill of dark chocolate curls beneath my chin as I rest my cheek on the top of her head and slide my spine more comfortably against the cool wall.
Arms and legs and boneless bodies pillow and cocoon and I remember chocolate as I bring my knees up to cradle my daughter as the others press close, claiming their spots.
I know this is how it goes, how it has always gone. Frightened children find each other’s warmth as they banish demons and monsters with stories shared in the dark.
Large, liquid eyes glow in the semi-light of the small fire in this cavern that has become this site of ritual, this place of sharing.
Cycles ago, I stopped wondering how this came to be.
“What do you want to hear?”
I never thought I had much imagination and while it took me a long, long time, I understand now that children grow into their stories. I think maybe I grew out of mine.
Or maybe I never had them, but I’d read them on Earth.
I can’t quite remember.
But long ago someone had shared them with me, fairy tales and myths, pointing to pictures and teaching me words, sharing simple, fundamental ones I could learn.
I’d never known whether it was because she knew I was pregnant or because she was just being kind.
“Tell us how we came to be.”
I’ve never had her way with words and I still wonder how this has fallen to me. I am not a story teller and I’ve never thought I was very good.
I don’t believe in monsters or bears or witches or children in forests or any of the other things I’d read about the last time I’d been on Earth.
“Once upon a time…”
“Why do stories always start that way?”
“Because that’s the proper way for a story to begin.”
Someone had explained that to me another lifetime ago. I’ve never had any reason to disagree.
“A long time ago, a very brave but very frightened…”
“How can someone be brave but frightened?”
I can create my own story now, my own fairy tale, even if it isn’t pretty or well done; even if I can’t tell how it will end.
Because I know now that even the end is never really the end.
“Courage isn’t the lack of fear. It’s how you handle the fear that makes you brave.”
I’ve always seen the end. It’s always terrified me.
“I’m not afraid.”
But I’ve long since decided that I’ll write my own ending.
I lift my eyes, watch wisps of smoke from the small fire in the center of the chamber curl up the chimney, seeking the freedom of the night sky, the pinprick of stars that have always seemed just out of reach.
I know it’s nothing more than the cave breathing, the movement into and out of this chamber due to changes in atmospheric pressure or temperature on the surface.
These are things I understand.
If I close my eyes though, it could be the soft sound of night cycle on board Kai; the gentle thrum of the great ship’s life around me, the re-circulating air that was the sound of soft breathing.
The flickering shadows could be the gold of her warm, welcoming walls.
I’d taken them for granted.
My chest is tight as I wrap my arms around my daughter and push quiet words that have risen from the ashes into the stillness.
“That’s because there’s nothing to fear here.”
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